2011.

Tryna write a song

but this pen will not move on

Theres nothing there to write

Theres nothing there I want

Awfully cold it is

Watched the clock tick midnight

Crackers outside my door

So just like before.

Wore my leather jacket

Went out to get a drink.

I'll pass out on some road tonight

I'll need you to carry me

A house by the river side

Nothing else but trees

A mountain I could climb

Just to scream

Theres nothing there to lie about!

Theres nothing there I want!

Dreamed of nothing tonight!

Cause tomorrows never gone!

Ready, Set,

I close my eyes and wait to Go.

The finish lines so close.

Two seconds late, two seconds ago.

Theres nothing there to lie about

Theres nothing there I want

Dreamed of nothing tonight

Cause tomorrows never gone.

Truth.

Shadows will perceive me

As i talk about the day

In my sight, I see a path

that leads none astray

Life has unfolded

For those who lay breathing

Sometimes I wish, I wasn't born rich.

I wish to live the circles

That use years/ears to cross by.

But if it were like that

I'd probably have, this as my wish.

So I surrender

Accept defeat

My past lay beneath me

My tear cut in two

Life's just about being true

The kite in the air

goes where it needs to know,

There is no more sky

And I just lay here wishing

I could do so.

So I surrender

Accept defeat

My past lay beneath me

My tear cut in two.

Life's just about being true.

Welcome CS' 10-Youn hi jeenai day mughay.

Hey, hey.Don't look down

You're here now.Go take a round

This is where you belong.

Never

fell off before

You're a warrior

I am so sure

Glad you came aboard

Rehtai hain hum aik saat

Youn hi jeenai day mughay

Papa ki wo aik baat

Aray kuch parh lay.

Aya idhar

Rahai idhar

Yai hai tera hi makaam

Jal jaye poori yai zameen.

Ja kai chu lay asamaaan.

O kameenay teri hai kami

amhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QsFAXBCR2M&feature=player_embedded#!

everytime

everytime, behind our kiss
It's the love that we miss.

Every night, i have to fight
thinking you're around, lets keep it the way we live.

I rather fight each and everyday
I rather have us not co-exist.
I rahter have us caved in,
live like a snow-man
never leave msn.

everytime, behind our kiss
It's the love that we miss.

Every night, I have to fight
thinking you're around, lets keep it the way we live.

I rather tell you
I've seen the future
act like a mad man
Write on the wall, those eight letter that i,

still think about, when I'm in bed and i miss

Your eyes
Your smile
Your breath
Your lies
Your jokes
You're mine
All mine

goodbye

in front of a mirror

I see him, broken inside

The eyes of a child

Nothing but fear on his mind

Of damn, not hearing you

while knowing the worth

of having you

just to not see you hurt

but i gotta let it go

I have to follow my shadow

So I am

losing you and me

To find a new place on earth

I'm holding on

so i gotta cut down my words

I failed to rescue you and me

I failed to live that dream

Damn, so i will

put on a mask

and live with this world

i might think of you

and that is all it's worth

I failed to rescue you and me

I failed to be complete

you and me

Sitting down with a notepad.So much shit going through my head

Enough with the lights, gonna turn them off.

Lets write a few lines, who knew love had a soul.

I need to start the part

which was cut in half

every time our words lost control

I was a boy, like them all

I never wanted to grow up before i was old

and like everyone else

I liked a girl or two

I still remember the day when i saw you

You came to my home with a smile

I was 12

you saw me naked thanks to a fucking cuzon who can't get his own shit right

Boy o boy

That night or after a few

we went for a walk

yeah, just me and you

I don't know what we said or how we talked

but there was something different about you

I can't explain it, I just have a glimse of me and you

You went away

like you were meant too

not before the night

when me and you played 'touch touch'

haha yeah we did, and no it wasn't rated

So moving on

You went to your home

started living your life

I guess I cried one night

but i moved on

Hell, i was just 12 that time

an year or so passed

me and you talked every once in awhile

and it wasn't till you were coming to my home on the next flight

that i got to know you better

I remember the buzz lightyear i used to play with infront of the webcam

Yeah I was always like that

Can't help it

You came..

You came

You came

You took my breath away

I saw you every single day

I used to come back from school straight to your place

Those were the days

That got me and you close

Those were the days

That i can so easily still live for

Sitting down with a notepad.So much shit going through my head

Enough with the lights, gonna turn them off.

Lets write a few lines, who knew love had a soul.

Baby remember the first kiss?

How we went home

You sat on that sofa

Waiting for me to make a move

I did so

I came close to you

I kissed your forhead

Your nose

and finally, your lips too

How you ran away,

You looked like a beauty queen

I still didn't love you

I didn't know what love could be

Days flew

and every day was amazing

It was time for you to go

A few nights before you were leaving

me and you got to know

what's it like, to be in eachothers arms

How we took that risk, I still don't know

For when everyone was sleeping

me and you, kept dreaming

about how we standing together, should never end

about how, we looked so perfect

The time came

you had to go

I got in my car

You jumped in without caring about what the world would think

Yeah that was me and you

we weren't scared

we did everything

How i held your hand underneath those tables

and how i grabed it tight, before your flight

I still can feel your hand baby

If only i knew i would never get to touch it again

I would never let go

Well

you left again

for one

two

three

four

I could do nothing

Distance was out of my control

We grew apart

and everytime

you were the one who didn't want more

I remember the nights when we first broke up

How i used to be on the phone

to all my friends, trying to figure out a way to get back to your home

They all tried, so did i

It was useless

You locked the door

Finally i gave up

When i figured you actually were outta control

You did something, I still don't know what for

I did everything for you

I did what i could

Where the fuck did i go wrong?

I just don't know

Time passed

I learned how to move on

I thank all my friends, who stood with me through it all

But you came back

Being who you were once before

I had to let it go

You were just a young soul

The bad memory faded in the past

but just cuz of it

I grew old

This time you tried

and i love you for it

I was outta my mind to even think of making it work

But you did

you fought it out

We got back on track

You and me, once more

All the days i spent with you

I will never take a single day for granted

I know what life is without you

I know what life is, with you

Back to my story

Things went wrong again

I guess the fights grew

We just split up, for no reason

It was my turn again

To get us back together

to work out a way

So i named it

Now or never

Now or never

I put my everything into it

Counted the hours for you to get to a place where i can take matters in my own hands

where i have no boundaries to get to you

and so i did

I took everything on

Remember how me and you were never scared?

I fought through it all

got to the place, where you would be coming

in the end, i was just a day short

where my dad, would kick me out, if i wouldn't get home

So i flew

all the way back home

I remember looking outside the window before the plane took off

I knew i was gonna see this place

soon

Once more

and so you came

I left you a mail

asking u to call me asap

You messaged me

I told you i would be coming

You didn't wanna see me

You wouldn't talk to me

You were someonelse

I felt so miserable

but i knew something had to be done

for if you left,

without knowing i existed

me and you would be no more

So i planned it out

Begged you to reply to my messages

How i wouldn't ever beg

but i had too

In the end

you gave in

I flew all the way

to see you through a window

Would that change if you were the girl from before?

would me and you get to meet eachother?

I don't know

you just weren't the girl from before

I knew the reason

Now what the hell should i do?

You try to live for yourself

When i try to fight for me and you

That was the limit

There is nothing a guy can do more

I ran outta gas

you tried moving on

How i still love you everyday

that's something that i just know

but i have nothing in my head that says I didn't do enough

I did everything i could

I can't ask myself for more

I finally got to know what love is though

Love has a soul

It's like the wind

You can feel it

You can't see it

I would want just you

But how do i trust you?

I wouldn't feel safe, if i knew you were the one who would watch my back

cuz i gave everything i had

you still wanted more

the clock is useless to me

time is nothing but an endless journey

I figured out something though

If you put all your effort into something you really want

you always get it

You came back now

out of nowhere really

just to talk to me

I don't even know what to say to you

I just keep on talking without thinking why or what for

All i know is

I pray for you and think about you all the time

How can i be angry at someone like that?

How can i try hating you?

When you're not there, i still have you around

what's the point of hating you, when you actually are around

Is my life, love?

I don't know

thats how it has been

for the last 4 to 5 years

but in this world

There is no one that i trust more

than myself

Fastabad'10

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

Such has been the month of April'10 and precisely, Fastabad'10.Not long ago was a time, when I was stuck in bed with a broken foot.I remember how useless I used to feel.I felt the very bottom, never realizing it was for the best.

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying. " Michael Jordan

To not try at that time, was what hurt.As soon as I started recovering, I made it clear, that I would give my all to whatever I would do.Fastabad'10 was a dream, and I don't let go of my dreams that easy.I never realized how much this 'event' meant to me before the final day.

Fastabad'10 wasn't a mega event that a few thought it would be.Many believed it would be a disaster.Personally, I never believed Fastabad'10 was meant to be a mega event.The people who worked for it, were the people who were sick and tired of not having a platform for us students.Fastabad'10 was just a platform.Most of us believe it was the first brick to a wall that is yet to be built.

"Light is just a shadow of many great things to come" bk

The tambola night gave Fastabad'10 the ending it deserved.It had over 150 guests(including the head of our university) taking part.It started to rain as the event came to an end.We were lucky enough to wrap everything up and get all the guests out of the tent.Our crew was trying to wind up things and the tent fell over me.As soon as i got out we all started shouting to make sure everyone was ok.It reminded me of this 'band of brothers' episode : /

To cut it short, (Hell sleepy) Fastabad'10 was a night to remember.

A prisoner-A Man-A human [My own writing]

Six years in prison

Have kept him awake

this is no way, to make him realize his mistake

He looks around, to see walls that now talk

You live only once, but its death for which he waits

Unlock the shackle

Leave him alone

Give him something

To have complete control

Hey Martha

How are you today?

How is little Andy?

Never tell him I live

I daily

Walk an ocean for you

I sometimes

Stop in between to have a look around

I search for things that you like

I buy all of them, every time

Today, was another yesterday

I slept early last night

The weather is changing

I'm still not burning deep inside

Tom says Hello

We have a business in sight

I won't take a risk

Just wanna earn a few dollars to spend on my life

six years in prison

Have kept him awake

this is no way, to make him realize his mistake

He looks around, to see walls that now talk

You live only once, but it's death for which he waits

Unlock the shackle

Leave him alone

Give him something

To have complete control

I sure am happy

I might see you soon

Buy yourself a new dress

You look cute in blue

How is the old man?

Do visit the grave of his wife

Just keep telling him

I apologize

Six years in prison

Have kept him awake

this is no way, to make him realize his mistake

He looks around, to see walls that now talk

You live only once, but its death for which he waits

Unlock the shackle

Leave him alone

Give him something

To have complete control

It's your voice in my head

that gives me sight

I promise, in the next world

We will live a better life

I love you

Standing on a mountain

I feel like I'm standing on a mountain

Do i not?

When everything you see is so small

When every person who cares, matters not

How to raise my head and fight a rock

which isn't there

I feel like I'm standing on a mounatian

Do i not?

when everything you see is so small

when every person who cares, matters not

A push on my back is a scary scene

Last time i checked, to touch the stars was my dream

I've built a universe right outside this door

Follow me, right here, just one step more..

I feel like I'm standing on a mountain

Do i not?

When everything you see is so small

When every person who cares,matters not

The much awaited day is almost here..

Dear blog.

It's funny how i just refereed to you as a friend.I did so because at this moment in life, I feel like I have not a single person in this world who is my friend.I am not yet a victim of all the cruelty that I will go through on my birthday.I will soon be though.In a couple of hours, my so called 'friends' will make my life, face and everything attached to me into a living mess.

I started all this.It started about two years ago when it was osamas birthday.Me and Hamza were really bored and our papers were coming up really soon.He was staying over at my place that night(i think).It just so happened that it was Osamas birthday.We needed to rest as i guess we were actually studying.So we decided to get a pastries and head towards his house.So it started.The torture everyone has to go through when its his birthday.Sadly, tomorrow is mine.

Happy birthday to me. ( crap)

Dear Mr.Blog

I would just like to say..

1- I swear to god I WILL notice the person who tortures me the most and make his birthday a living hell

2- Santa! I will walk all the way to you and rent a reindeer so I can take that Motherfuckers MOMA on a ride!

3- I can't wait till Umars birthday.I will so fucking take out my anger on you umar!

4- If i survive tomorrow, I will start a poultry farm and live a happy life.I'll curse these jackholes everyday for making my birthday a thing to remember.

5- I know they are at least gonna bash me twice.I hope to survive the third bashing


6-Hamza Naveed, Bilal Ahmed bhatti, umar iqbal, bilal asif, osama ifikhar, Zee, jay, ray and rest.Peace? : /


over and out
bk
Not yet a victim ( feels good)

Moment(s) of the day

RAPING Osama : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6pnISISktU

An experience I will never forget

I sat there with nothing but a few complexed lines of code going through my mind.I sat there wandering why can't these errors go away and ease my life.

Sometimes, strange things happen.Sometimes, it's better not to expect much from life.A friend rushed to me today, trying to convince me to get up and take part in a debating event we registered for.I didn't really want to at first.

Till yesterday, i had never taken part in a debate.Nervously, i got up.Trying to hide my fear of losing and making a fool out of myself as i did so.

What kept me going? Maybe it was the belief i had in myself.Maybe it was cuz of all the sayings I read before.Sayings like " You can't win until you lose "

Maybe it was just cuz of my friend.I really don't know..

The topic was ready and a few thoughts were left to sleep.

I had 20 minutes to sum it all up

The pen was in my hand..

The brain was put to work..

The things in my mind

Were written down as words..

It's funny how when you don't want time to pass, it rushes through you.I got up and ran outside to practice my words for the first time.

Like i said, the best moments in life do come unoticed.My best moment of today did as well.I really wont mention much about that here as i like keeping my blog personal.Just for my memories and nothing more than that.

I rushed to room 310 a little tensed.I was late already.I asked the judge to start the debate in a few minutes.Yes i had to go to the bathroom..

I do that before basketball games and well, this was nothing less than a challenge for me.It was like a basketball game that i wasn't willing to lose

I hate to lose.

The debate started.I patiently waited for my turn.As the speakers went on i had a question in mind for this girl.I stood up polietly and tried asking her a question.She refused

" SIT DOWN..SIT DOWN SIR!" were her exact words.

The show had begun

It was on..

After my friend and the opening governments turn, it was my chance to get on stage.I call it chance cuz i felt the desire to stand and talk infront of the few waiting to hear my every word.Yes, i was confident and willing all of a sudden

They called my name.I stood up for the challenge

" First of all i would like to say, if a question is asked, answer it polietly " i said to the girl..

My nervousness drifted away.My voice became louder.My hand n eye cordination looked as solid as it did two years ago.I stood on a dice after two long years.I felt at home..

I would like to start my words with the name of Allah(s.w.t)

O lord of heaven and earth and sea

to thee all praise and glory be

how shall we show our love to thee

giver of all

I replied to every point they had in mind.The rusty me was long gone after a minute of my time on the dice.

The few words i would like to remember :

" Sit down mam.." i said to the girl who insulted me

" sit down mam! " I said it again as she asked another question

" sit down MAM! i would love to answer your question if you were just a little more poliet" i said to her after she stood again

i looked down, only to look back up

" It is personal.." i said to her in front of all those listening

Before saying that i long thought about it in my mind.Maybe it was just one second, but even that is enough when all your memories suddenly rush through your mind and you know what you're about to say is right.It felt like i had all the time in the world before i said " it is personal" to her

It felt like everything had stopped.It felt like time was on my side..

I would like to sum this up by just thanking zeeshan for pushing me towards an experience i would never forget.The dice is where i belong and I wanna push myself to get better once again

p.s : You know you're right when the same girl comes up to talk to you and clear things out

Moment(s) of the day

Driving zee back home at 1 : ) ( The smile says it all)

Moment(s) of the day

The 'farth' moment i got to share with Khadija : )

Sir Aslam ( R.I.P)

p.s: The first few lines describe how i first saw Sir Aslam when i came for admission.I didn't have a choice to select the subjects and was offered stats.I wanted to study physics and computers.My father requested him to let me do computers and he, without any hesitation agreed.R.I.P sir.It's just because of you, that i am where i am right now.You were a great man


I entered with disgust
My father in front

I had to wait in a room
until you called for me

I saw you for the first time
It was you who made my life easy

I would've been someone so different
but cuz of you, I'm me

You said yes, when a lot said no
it changed my destiny

Not a lot of moments with you i remember
but walking down the halls, hoping not to collide with you is as fresh as you leaving

You were the pride of our college
You were the stone that formed this college
You were the pen that gave us knowledge
You are the soul whose work we acknowledge

It's an honor knowing you
and we hate to see you go
Until we meet again
I live proud knowing you're a part of me

Wake up Pakistan (my own)


where do i go?

I'm out of control
I need to hide in a box
cuz i see..


a lot that's being done
the past has begun
sit with closed eyes and just feel


I read it in books
now i see how it looks
aren't the last few drops of rain
the one you feel?


Where do you go
when you know you're alone
No where to run, Now is the fun
don't you see?

a lot that's being done
the past has begun
sit with closed eyes and just feel


I read it in books
now i see how it looks
aren't the last few drops of rain
the one you feel?

You're a
hidden camera away
a few steps to late
and late is what your heart feels


Wake up Pakistan

overtone-colorblind

And it's not just a game
You can't throw me away
I put all I had on the line
And I give and you take
And I played the high stakes
I've won and I've lost
But, I'm fine


Hear me say I'll rise up 'til the end
Hear me say I'll stand up for my friends
And I crash to the ground
And it's just my own sound
I drop in the blink of an eye
I'm colorblind


And your milky way fight
Won't stop my delight
You keep me and lock me away
And it's dark and it's bright
It's your colorful pride that kept me here 9000 days


Hear me say I'll see the sky again
Hear me say I'll drive for you my friend
There's a noise in the crowd
But it's just my own shout
A stumble I fall and I pray


Hear you say your eyes see green again
In the end we'll lived up holding hands
Yes, we'll spark in the night
We'll be colorblind
And these are the lives we gave


Hear me say I'll rise up 'til the end
Hear me say that I'll stand beside my friends
I won't stay on the floor
I will settle the score
A stumble I fall and I pray


Hear me say it's time we stop talking
Eye to eye we see a different face
Yes we we've conquered the war
With love at the core
A stumble I fall, but I'll stay
Colorblind.

An eventful month

Its been long since i updated my blog(except for moments of the day).To start of with, I really didn't wanna update it.So much has been happening recently i wanted things to cool down so i could write about them all at once.

21st of Jan was a big day in life.I did what I've been wanting to for a very, very long time( 4 years to be exact).I don't really wanna mention it here.The people who need to know are well aware of it.I feel good about myself after that day though.I took a challenge, more than just a little risk and did what not a lot would do.Through out that day i kept asking myself just one question.

Was it worth it?
Yes
Yes it was.It was worth every day i spent just thinking about it.It was worth all the shit i had to go through.I have nothing to look back at and say " if only" . I have nothing to regret.I did whatever i could and I'm happy about it.
Life has been amazing lately.I'm sorta hitting the books, playing basketball once in awhile and i do have my knee surgery this thursday.If everything turns out well, I might just be able to play the tournament this feb.That's pretty exciting.The last tournament I played, we lost in the semi-finals.I'm still not over it.

The second semester of uni has started as well.Not as exciting as the first, cuz well, that was something totally different.Switching from school to uni is every kids dream and those few months passed so quick.I do feel more at home now.I know a lot of and I'm a lot more comfortable with stuff.This semester the goal is to do a little bit of everything.

I finally managed to start forming my first song.It's tough I tell you.Especially when you have to do it on your own.I'm hoping i would finish it by the end of .Good luck to me



Well, i guess that's about it till my surgery.I learned a lot this month.The most important thing out of it is

" When there is a will, there is a way ."


cheers
bk

Moment(s) of the day

Umar admitting his crush is gay-hay-ho

RAY/GAY :)

Sheikhsti :)

Making an idiot out of umar yet again.

fantasy

Being racist and loving every bit of it

Moment(s) of the day

Returning to e-9 paf complex for a basketball game

qadir talking on the phone during a game

Moment(s) of the day

saying shit to random people during the chairlift

riding the wild bull


Message

hamza getting humiliated

bumper cars

Quote(s) of the day

Superman couldn't handle it.I'm just a man

I am MR.Right, just not MR. Right Now

Moment of the day: My return to the basketball court

Thought of the day: Do whatever you till whenever you can.After that,it ain't in your hands.You control your own destiny.

A random thought

Courage is a hard thing to figure.You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but

you are not supposed to question adults, or your coach or your teacher because they make the rules.

Maybe they know best, but maybe they don't.It all depends on who you are or where you come

from.Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes, you might not

even know why you're doing something.I mean any fool can have courage, but honor, that's the

real reason you either do something or you don't.It's who you are and maybe who you want to be.

If you die trying for something important, than you have both honor and courage and that's

pretty good.You should hope for courage and try for honor and maybe even pray that the

people telling you what to do, have some too.